[prev] [thread] [next] [lurker] [Date index for 2005/11/11]
------=_Part_38601_13033592.1131737785910 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Disposition: inline I've long sworn that installing Oracle on Linux has to be one of the most painful things in the world, next to listening to Richard Shattner and Leonard Nemoy albums, of course. With Oracle's new Oracle XE all that was supposed to change. Who knows? Making Oracle easier to install on Linux might bring about world piece? Or at least that was the initial word on the street that seemed to be going around. Instead, I found that, much like poo= r Private "Pyle" on "Full Metal Jacket", I was just living in a world of shit= . I have installed Oracle several times on Windows and it has worked like a charm. The operating system, of course, was hateful, and despite my best efforts, I've not been able to get a reasonable level of performance on Windows. Oracle on Linux has always taunted me, so I decided to try out this Oracle XE install for myself. As I leasurely read through Oracle's website on Oracle XE, one word stood out -- Debian. "Hmmm," I thought, "I should be able to get this to install on my Ubuntu box." I quickly (as quickly as 150MB can be) downloaded the file for Linux. The fuckers only distribute an RPM file. HATE! With the help of "alien" (nice software, but hateful usage information), I unpacked the RPM and converted into a DEB file and installed. I could hear "Kumbaya" playing quietly in the background. Next step was to run Oracle's configuration program and everything would be just fine. Instead, I ran into hatred in the form of lazy programmers. The configuration was supposed to handled by an /etc/init.d file. As I ran the script, my illusions started to fall apart. First, the script was failing because it was looking for a "functions" file in /etc/init.d. That file is specific to the RedHat-derived Linuxes, but not all, since it tends to bloa= t your init scripts with lots of useless garbarge. Loud swearing ensued. The words "dickheads", "cocksuckers", and "motherfuckers" were each muttered more than once. This is also where I ranted on how Linux vendors should write init scripts that "just fucking do it" to my wife. "What do you think of the new shower curtain?" my wife asked. So, I hack away bits of the configuration/init script for Oracle XE, and, after a bit more swearing, I finally get the Oracle listener started. One problem, the database didn't start. More digging, more swearing. The configuration script hadn't bothered to create a new database instance. That's pretty fucking hateful for a configuration program that said "Oracle XE configured successfully." More hacking of the configuration script and more swearing. This time I jus= t used "cocksuckers", as I realized how lazy the programmers really were. It'= s easy to install without errors when you dump all output to /dev/null and ignore all return codes. I rant on again about lazy programmers. "You're right, honey, those candles do look nice next to the new mirror, an= d it really helps to make everything look centered," my wife mentions. Finally, after struggling with the sys and system users not having the SYSDBA role on the new database, discovering that the configure script creates a user called "anonymous" on the database, and finally getting erro= r messages saying that I should look in the alert log and find nothing writte= n in it, I finally gave up. Too bad that this "beta" software sure looks like a hate-filled development version to me. Yours in hate, Steve Peters ------=_Part_38601_13033592.1131737785910 Content-Type: text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Disposition: inline <p>I've long sworn that installing Oracle on Linux has to be one of the mos= t painful things in the world, next to listening to Richard Shattner and Le= onard Nemoy albums, of course. With Oracle's new Oracle XE all that w= as supposed to change. Who knows? Making Oracle easier to insta= ll on Linux might bring about world piece? Or at least that was the i= nitial word on the street that seemed to be going around. Instead, I = found that, much like poor Private "Pyle" on "Full Metal Jac= ket", I was just living in a world of shit. </p> <p>I have installed Oracle several times on Windows and it has worked like = a charm. The operating system, of<br>course, was hateful, and despite= my best efforts, I've not been able to get a reasonable level of performan= ce on Windows. Oracle on Linux has always taunted me, so I decided to= try out this Oracle XE install for myself. </p> <p>As I leasurely read through Oracle's website on Oracle XE, one word stoo= d out -- Debian. "Hmmm," I thought, "I should be able = to get this to install on my Ubuntu box." I quickly (as quickly = as 150MB can be) downloaded the file for Linux. </p> <p>The fuckers only distribute an RPM file. HATE!</p> <p>With the help of "alien" (nice software, but hateful usage inf= ormation), I unpacked the RPM and converted into a DEB file and installed.&= nbsp; I could hear "Kumbaya" playing quietly in the background.&n= bsp; Next step was to run Oracle's configuration program and everything wou= ld be just fine. </p> <p>Instead, I ran into hatred in the form of lazy programmers. The co= nfiguration was supposed to handled by an /etc/init.d file. As I ran = the script, my illusions started to fall apart. First, the script was= failing because it was looking for a "functions" file in /etc/in= it.d. That file is specific to the RedHat-derived Linuxes, but not al= l, since it tends to bloat your init scripts with lots of useless garbarge.= Loud swearing ensued. The words "dickheads", "c= ocksuckers", and "motherfuckers" were each muttered more tha= n once. This is also where I ranted on how Linux vendors should write= init scripts that "just fucking do it" to my wife. </p> <p>"What do you think of the new shower curtain?" my wife asked.<= /p> <p>So, I hack away bits of the configuration/init script for Oracle XE, and= , after a bit more swearing, I finally get the Oracle listener started.&nbs= p; One problem, the database didn't start. More digging, more swearin= g. The configuration script hadn't bothered to create a new database = instance. That's pretty fucking hateful for a configuration program t= hat said "Oracle XE configured successfully." </p> <p>More hacking of the configuration script and more swearing. This t= ime I just used "cocksuckers", as I realized how lazy the program= mers really were. It's easy to install without errors when you dump a= ll output to /dev/null and ignore all return codes. </p> <p>I rant on again about lazy programmers.</p> <p>"You're right, honey, those candles do look nice next to the new mi= rror, and it really helps to make everything look centered," my wife m= entions.</p> <div>Finally, after struggling with the sys and system users not having the= SYSDBA role on the new database, discovering that the configure script cre= ates a user called "anonymous" on the database, and finally getti= ng error messages saying that I should look in the alert log and find nothi= ng written in it, I finally gave up. Too bad that this "beta&quo= t; software sure looks like a hate-filled development version to me.=20 </div> <div> </div> <div>Yours in hate,</div> <div> </div> <div>Steve Peters</div> ------=_Part_38601_13033592.1131737785910--
Generated at 18:00 on 15 Nov 2005 by mariachi 0.52